


The Golden Lady

by bananab1tch



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Drug Abuse, Drug Addiction, Heroin Use, I'm so sorry I made him do drugs, Oneshot, Papyrus (Undertale) Has Issues, Papyrus (Undertale) Needs a Hug, Papyrus (Undertale)-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-27 14:43:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20047768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananab1tch/pseuds/bananab1tch
Summary: On the surface, Papyrus feels really bad.He manages to make himself feel a whole lot better. It only takes a quick hit to feel good these days, anyways.TW: Drug Use





	The Golden Lady

**Author's Note:**

> hello,,,this was written in one day and was hastily looked over for spelling and grammatical errors. I saw "drug addiction" on a whump list online and you already know I had to do it to him. Heavy trigger warning for drug abuse everybody, please stay safe!

He needs  **it** .

Just one more bit of  **it** , to wash everything away.

Every thought screaming at him that he isn't enough. Every word forcing itself into his brain just to rub in the fact that he is worth nothing. That everyone else in his life was moving on, doing things bigger and better than he. Just one hit of that sweet, special cure and he'd be feeling much better.

______________________________________

Papyrus knows that people like him when he's feeling good when he has a big, bright smile plastered on his bony face. Now that they've all arrived on the surface, there should be no reason to  _ not  _ be feeling great. After arriving on the surface, Papyrus and his brother had moved into a new house together (it seemed like gold was worth a lot more on the surface than it was underground) and Sans seemed to be so much happier. The grin on his face which Papyrus had become accustomed to seeing as worn and forced gradually became more comfortable and genuine.

The change wasn't as easy for Papyrus, however. As everyone around him started to become functioning members of society, Papyrus, as always, was left behind. 

______________________________________

The tall skeleton locked his door and began reaching under his bed for  **it** . He knew he had to have some left, he didn't waste all of  **it ** the last time he played with his devilish friend.

_ Ah-ha!  _ he thought as he wrapped his hands around the cool needle and pulled it out from under. Papyrus then turned to his dresser drawer and lead his arm under the furniture, to grab the thing taped under it. When Papyrus brought  **it** to his face, his arm began to shake, out of anticipation or nerves he didn't know. 

Papyrus loaded his weapon with the dark brown liquid while biting his metaphorical lip. 

_ "C'mon, hurry up, just a bit more,"  _ he cried in his mind as he filled up the needle with the precious substance. Filling it up all the way, Papyrus crookedly smiled. His brain became swarmed with thoughts of what it would be like inside him, flooding out the thoughts of stress and anxiety. 

He flicked the needle, ridding it of each airy obstacle stopping him from reaching bliss.

______________________________________

Sans had surprised him after two months on the surface when he told him he wanted to go back to college.

"REALLY, BROTHER? WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE OF MIND?" he asked joyously.

Sans shrugged. "well, we've been up here on the surface for a bit now and, uh, i guess i just wanted to get back into the whole science stuff." He stood up next to Papyrus to help him with the dishes. "al offered me a position working a little desk job over at the new lab and i'm starting up part-time tomorrow. i'm gonna start making an application to the community college down the road on friday." Sans smiled to himself and elbowed his brother on the arm. 

Papyrus smiled and picked up Sans into a large bear hug and swung him around. "SANS, THAT IS ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL TO HEAR! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU," he shouted (louder than usual) and he began digging into the fridge.

"heh, what're ya doin' paps?"

"WHY, MAKING CELEBRATION SPAGHETTI OF COURSE! THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY MOMENTOUS OCCASION!"

"bro, i haven't even  _ applied  _ yet."

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN THIS ISN'T WORTHY OF CELEBRATION NONETHELESS! JOIN ME IN THE KITCHEN BROTHER, AND WE SHALL FEAST!"

Beginning to boil water in the pot, Papyrus stared down into the hot, bubbling liquid. He was happy for Sans, how could he not be. It's been a while since his brother has been this productive in a long time! Even so, as Papyrus slipped the noodles into the water, he frowned. Even Sans has managed to do something with his new life on the surface, while here was Papyrus doing nothing with his time. All he did was clean the house, do chores and struggle (and fail) to find a job. Most likely due to his "out there" behavior and personality. 

He stirred his pasta and fought his selfish mind not to slip into one of his moods. Not when Sans seemed so happy.

______________________________________

He trailed the needle along his radius. The bone was covered in little tracks and scars. Papyrus once enjoyed the tingly feeling of the sharp needle trailing along his bones, but he's become desensitized to the feeling on his arms after months of sharp objects making contact with himself. 

After five seconds he takes the needle and pushes down as hard as he can into the bone, the piercing feeling making him hiss out from the sensation that never failed to make him wince. Years of working out and training has left his bones tough, making it harder to inject  **it ** into his stream of magic.

** _Jab_ **

Papyrus' eyes rolled to the back of his skull as he managed to jam the needle through. He pushed down on the plunger and breathed deeply as he let the immediate feeling of euphoria wash over him.

Suddenly the spot the needle entered began to feel less sore and he felt his once quick, nerve-wracked heartbeat flow at a rhythm that soothed Papyrus. He began to feel heavy and drowsy as he flopped onto his bed and lazily smiled. It felt like all the remaining bad thoughts in his brain drifted away into a deep, black void.

Everything is fine now. The surface is beautiful, his room is beautiful, and  _ he  _ is beautiful despite his millions of flaws and mistakes that make him a good for nothing sack of bones.

None of that matters now.  **It** hugs him, cradles him in a warm, safe embrace.  **It ** is always there for him.  **It** loves him so much,  **it** lets him feel happy for the first time in  _ years _ .

He feels as if he's swimming in bliss -  _ what was he even worried about again? _ \- when he hears a knock on the door.

______________________________________

The first time he does it, he doesn't really intend to do it again.

Does anyone, he thinks? The first time he got a taste of  **it ** was at a party held by Undyne one night, to celebrate her then most recent wrestling win. She had invited both her friends and her pals from the industry, which is where Papyrus came in contact with a small woman sitting in a secluded corner, smiling and swaying her head.

Papyrus had gone to relax near her since that area seemed to be quieter. Loud, rambunctious parties like these always managed to boost up his anxiety. He crouched and hugged his knees, but he couldn't stop the shaking coming from his body.

"Hey man, feeling alright?" she had asked him, placing a hand next to his shoulder.

The skeleton flinched from the touch. "O-OH UM, N-NO NOT REAL-LY NO, HA," he quakingly forced out, laughing nervously.

The lady nodded in solidarity and brought his hand to hers, where she dropped a little baggie of white dust into the palm of his hand. 

She winked and said, "A little a' this could do you some good, bud. Just inhale and let the golden lady work her magic."

Papyrus looked down. He wasn't stupid, he knew what this was. They didn't have much of it in the underground, but the skeleton knew about drugs. He knew he wasn't supposed to do them, they're dangerous, addictive and deadly..but they also feel good, right? They...help you feel a little better, don't they?

It's not like he'll do it again, he tells himself. Just this one time, he tells himself. So he opens the bag and brings the powder up to his nostrils and snorts it, trying his best to ignore the burning feeling in the back of his skull. He feels a rush of pleasure, and before he knows it, he's made a pact with a new, promising friend.

Over time, Papyrus learns his preferred method of taking  **it ** is through injection, but in all honesty, he'll take  **it ** however he can when he's desperate enough. After 2 months of use and losing contact with the woman from the party due to her going on a wrestling tour with Undyne, he begins going out into the streets to find  **it** . He eventually meets a dealer, a reptilian snake-like monster that always meets him in the dark corners of June Street. His gateway to  **it** isn't exactly the nicest monster around, but as long as the monster is able to get him  **it** , he doesn't mind trading a few unpleasant words with him. 

______________________________________

"paps? you in there bro?"

Papyrus stops and widens his eyes. He wants to spring up and yell "YES AND EVERYTHING IS INDEED FINE IN HERE" but he can't. He feels so calm right now, so up in the clouds.

"MMHMM...YES, BROTHER, I FEEL REEEEALY GOOD IN HERE NYEH~" he calls out in a lower, more slurred voice than usual. The needle is still stuck in his arm. He plucks it out and places it next to him and lays back in bed.

He hears another knock, louder this time, on the door. "uh, you sure you're alright in there? you sound a little...slower than usual?"

"YES, UH HUH, YES BROTHER I'M-I'M DOING WONDERFUL," Papyrus responded, trailing off at the last syllable into vocal fry, then bursting into a quiet fit of giggles afterward.

"...bro i'm gonna come in there, okay? just a quick check-in, you sound a little loopy there paps," he says and Papyrus hears him jiggle the doorknob.

Uh oh

Papyrus blinks a few times and scrambles to hide  **it ** and the needle under his covers.

"papyrus. what is  _ that _ ?"

The taller skeleton freezes with the needle in his hands. Sans was standing behind him. Damn him and his weird, mystical shortcut/teleportation powers!

"N-NOTHING," Papyrus blurts out. You know, like a doofus. He mentally smacks himself in the face.

"i-fucking-nothing? papyrus, that doesn't fucking look like nothing to me!" Sans walks towards his brother and grabs  **it** from the bed. 

Papyrus lunges at his brother, grasping at the bag because he just took  **it ** away from him, his little piece of heaven. Papyrus almost lands on the floor as he continues to reach toward  **it** . Sans brings his arm farther away from his brother, his eyes widening and pupils shrinking.

"pappy," Sans mutters, closer inspecting the bag, "pappy what're you doing to yourself?"

He can't stand to look at his brother in the face. Papyrus stares down at his bed. "PLEASE, BROTHER...GIVE  **IT** BACK."

"what?"

" _ PLEASE _ GIVE IT BACK SANS I-I NEED  **IT.** I  _ NEED  _ **IT ** SO BAD."

The shorter tucks the bag in his back pocket. He looks Papyrus dead in the eye, his stare unwavering. "paps, are you high right now?"

Papyrus felt too ashamed to speak. He nodded.

"...how long? how long have you been putting poison into your body and i haven't known about it?" Sans begs, placing a cautious and trembling hand on his brother's knee, rubbing it gently. "please, bro, answer me. i'm not gonna hurt you."

Clenching his fist, Papyrus glared at his brother. In a sudden fit of anger he shouts,"YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THAT. WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE? YOU'VE GOT LIFE UP HERE ALL FIGURED OUT, DON'T YOU? YOU'RE HAPPY NOW SANS. YOU DON'T NEED ME MESSING YOU UP AGAIN." Papyrus started to walk out of his room when Sans grabbed his arm.

"papyrus, i'm  _ always _ gonna care, no matter what. don't you believe me?"

Silence.

"paps, please i just wanna talk."

Quiet.

"i don't want you hurting yourself, bro."

Nothing.

"papyrus," and he got on his tiptoes to grab his younger brother's face and bring it down to his, "i love you. i love you  _ so damn much _ . i don't want you to die." Sans's sockets began to well up with tears as he looked at his brother, his sweet, high baby brother in the face, begging for him to let him in.

Papyrus crouched down and sat on the floor. He pulled up his sleeve to reveal the many track marks along his arm, hearing Sans gasp as he revealed the marks of his work.

That's when the dam broke in Papyrus. He clutched onto his brother, unleashing his flood of emotions onto the back of Sans' hoodie as he sobbed into it. Sans held on tight, almost tighter than he's ever held his little brother

" _ I NEED  _ ** _IT_ ** ," he cries rocking back and forth, " _ I NEED  _ ** _IT _ ** _ SANS, ALL THE TIME." _

Sans reaches a shaking hand down towards Papyrus' and manages to release his death grip on the needle.

Papyrus cried to Sans and the two spent the rest of the day exhausted, huddled together, and talking. About what to do next. About  **it** . And Papyrus was terrified, but every time Sans smiled at him warmly, he felt just a bit of his mind begin to calm

Just a bit.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading, ya'll! The drug that papyrus does in this fic is heroin (as written in the tags) but I decided to never really use that term in order to highlight the way Papyrus really feels about it. It's more than a drug to him at that point, it's a close friend if that makes sense. Please don't be afraid to comment with anything you think! my undertale side blog is @papyrus-stan69 on tumblr if you have any asks or just wanna check me out :)


End file.
